Love gives, love takes—sometimes it lowers our guard. Fraudsters know it. For people seeking companionship, romance and confidence scams exploit loneliness and trust to steal money and sensitive information.
Romance scams can feel like a real relationship until they don’t. Victims may share financial information or send money, only to learn later that the connection was fraudulent all along.
Americans reported losing roughly $672 million from a total of 17,910 romance and confidence scam complaints in 2024, according to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) report. Romantic vulnerabilities are a popular hook. And then there are related “confidence” schemes, which may not push the same emotional buttons as romantic pursuits but rely on similar psychological manipulation—gaining traction when fraudsters tug at heartstrings or pose as a supportive confidante or a long-lost relative. All approaches have financial gain as their end goal.
The IC3 report found romance and confidence scam losses are heavily concentrated among adults 40 and over, and incidents increase further among seniors. In these cases, individuals believe they are in a relationship (romantic, friendly, or family) and are tricked into sending money, personal and financial information, or items of value to the perpetrator. In some cases, victims may launder money or items to assist the perpetrator.
The report focuses on email or text scams and social engineering, such as mining personal details from social media accounts. Beyond digital access, some fraudsters may try to engage face-to-face with their targets, but technology means they increasingly may not have to. The FBI says the true financial and emotional toll is far higher due to underreporting.
Experts said that while the stats back up age-related vulnerabilities, there is no limit to victim demographics. All ages are susceptible to romance scams, especially as criminal efforts are getting more sophisticated. Artificial intelligence-generated images, deepfake videos, and a willingness to commit to social engineering for long-term, trust-building engagement are just some of the techniques fraudsters use to exploit romance to gain access to someone else’s money.
“Scammers can now use AI and other means to scale their attempts, so while the amount lost per scam fluctuates, the increased ability to perpetrate the crime at scale is new,” said Carrie Foran Sepulveda, vice president of fraud and physical security with Navy Federal Credit Union. “Seeking payment in crypto is becoming more common and is more difficult to track and get justice for victims compared to other ways of moving money.”
Sepulveda and other experts offered key considerations and protections for romance scams to share with personnel, members, and customers.
- Remember that romance and confidence scams are difficult to spot and often go unreported because victims feel embarrassed or unclear about where to report the incident, especially if it’s a scam not outright fraud. Engagement with victims or potentially vulnerable consumers requires extra sensitivity given the emotions involved, as more than just financial losses are at risk, including long-term emotional and psychological harm.
- Do tread lightly. Financial professionals are not mental health professionals or even life coaches, but carefully calibrated reinforcement can help, says Sepulveda. Customer-facing professionals might limit comments to, for example: “Though online dating is common, be empowered to meet people in real life early on. The longer you allow a relationship to form without verifying someone’s identity, the more power they have to persuade you that it’s normal to avoid video calls or that you should send them money so they can come visit.”
- Reinforce the steps to protect accounts. Members and customers should reach out to their financial institution if they think they are compromised. That means changing passwords and checking that any accounts discussed with the scammer have not been affected. Look for money moved, address on file changes, etc.
- Banks and credit unions can empower customers and members with crime reporting information in the branch and other educational materials, said Wayne Jacobs, special agent in charge of FBI Philadelphia, in a release. If a customer or member receives desperate language or a strange tone within a message or a request or offer that doesn’t feel right from a new romantic partner or friend, they should end all communication immediately. They can report the activity to the FBI at ic3.gov, Jacobs advised.
- Stress to members and customers that if a third party is moving too fast for their comfort, that’s a warning sign. All scammers, not just romance scammers, want to receive money quickly and via a method that is hard to initiate a stop payment or reverse a transfer. Requests for wires, gift cards, money transfer apps, or transfer cryptocurrency are usually red flags.
- Education can extend to preventative measures. Both Apple and Android offer tools to block scam texts/calls and unknown numbers. Remind customers and members that the best way to avoid falling for a scam may be to keep scammers from reaching consumers in the first place.
- Volume strategies are on the rise among romance fraudsters, says Sepulveda. There are certainly scammers on dating sites and other digital platforms that target individual people who are looking for connection and relationships, but fraudsters know that anyone can be a victim and they may be taking less time to research an individual target, she says. A recent trend is the fake “wrong number” text. Criminals send a generic text saying “Hi” or “What are you doing this weekend?” Then when a conscientious person takes the time to respond to say the texter has the wrong number, the scammer draws them into a “positive” engagement, which can escalate. The target is told how nice they are, that a connection is forming, and so on. “Then the con can really begin,” says Sepulveda.
- Financial institutions with CX top of mind can work with members and customers to smooth the situation even if the organization isn’t on the hook. As Sepulveda explained, fraud is an unauthorized action, such as account takeover, a stolen card, etc. Scams, on the other hand, are transactions that the member authorized themselves under false pretenses created by the scammer. “In alignment with industry standards, Navy Federal is not liable for financial losses that members authorize. However, we will work with the member to attempt to recover funds by reaching out to the financial institution that received the funds,” she said. “Additionally, we are always looking for indications that a member is being scammed. Member education and proactive prevention is our first line of defense against scams.”
