On Valentine’s Day, Rachel Koning Beals reminds us that romance and confidence scams work by building trust first—and asking for money later. Victims believe they are in a real relationship—romantic, friendly, or even familial—and are tricked into sending money, personal and financial information, or items of value. In some cases, they may even launder money or goods for the perpetrator.
The losses are significant. Americans reported losing roughly $672 million from 17,910 romance and confidence scam complaints in 2024, according to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). Losses are heavily concentrated among adults 40 and over, with incidents increasing further among seniors—though no adult is immune.
Technology is accelerating the threat. Experts point to AI-generated images, deepfake videos, and long-term social engineering used to build trust. “Scammers can now use AI and other means to scale their attempts, so while the amount lost per scam fluctuates, the increased ability to perpetrate the crime at scale is new,” said Carrie Foran Sepulveda, vice president of fraud and physical security with Navy Federal Credit Union. She added: “Seeking payment in crypto is becoming more common and is more difficult to track and get justice for victims compared to other ways of moving money.”
Here are some key takeaways:
- Engage with sensitivity. Romance and confidence scams are often underreported because victims feel embarrassed or unsure where to report them, especially when the transaction was authorized. Emotional and psychological harm may also be involved.
- What banks can say to customers. Sepulveda says customer-facing professionals should keep comments carefully calibrated and practical. For example: “Though online dating is common, be empowered to meet people in real life early on. The longer you allow a relationship to form without verifying someone’s identity, the more power they have to persuade you that it’s normal to avoid video calls or that you should send them money so they can come visit.”
- Reinforce stop-and-report steps. Wayne Jacobs, special agent in charge of FBI Philadelphia, advised that if communication includes desperate language or a tone or offer that doesn’t feel right, customers should end contact immediately and report the activity to the FBI at ic3.gov.
- Why the scam-vs.-fraud distinction matters. Sepulveda draws a clear line between fraud (unauthorized actions such as account takeover or stolen cards) and scams, which are transactions “that the member [or customer] authorized themselves under false pretenses created by the scammer.” She added: “In alignment with industry standards, Navy Federal is not liable for financial losses that members authorize,” making education and early prevention a priority.
Bottom line: Romance scams are getting harder to spot—and banks’ best lever is prevention. “Member education and proactive prevention is our first line of defense against scams,” Sepulveda said.
